Free, safe dating sites online

There are only two free dating sites I can recommend that are fairly safe, datingnmore.com, and asianlonelyhearts.com.
Most dating sites, free or otherwise, do not bother to do much checking of new profiles, or monitoring activity on the site. By 'monitoring' activity, I do not mean reading your messages, or spying, but there are usually ways to watch site activity without invading your privacy, and scammers do tend to operate in predictable ways, and usually exhibit some known traits.
Most of the knowledge a site operator needs to have to spot these scammers is pretty easily acquired. You just have to be interested in protecting your members, and operating a 'clean' site. Most dating sites don't do this.
Datingnmore.com is a large, free, safe dating site, owned and operated by a friend of mine, who is probably the leading expert in internet romance scams, in the world. The site is friendly, and has an extensive array of members from throughout the world.
AsianLonelyhearts.com is a new, free, small 'Asian' dating site I am involved with. We hope to offer the best free 'Asian' dating site available.
We need new members, and really need new female members.
It will take a while for Asianlonelyhearts to become a busy, active site, but we prefer to build the site honestly, and with real people. Why waste your time on fakes, scammers, and players?
Please join, and help us build this site.

So? You look at these two sites and think they are boring, and not as exciting as most dating sites? Do you realize you are used to typical CRAP found on dating sites? Fake profiles of half naked people. Stolen pictures of celebrities. Hundreds or thousands of profiles of people you try to contact, but never reply? ( they're fake profiles!)
Do you think PAYING for a site offers you some safety and value? It usually doesn't! The scammers operate on virtually every site, paid, or free.
The one exception in paid 'Asian' dating I can offer is Christian Filipina Dating. Christian-Filipina is one of the few sites that actively checks new profiles, and has some unique methods to screen members. Give it a try if you prefer a 'paid' site, or try all of the sites I suggest!
Regardless of which online site you use, please remember: Never send money to somebody you only know from the internet, or phone calls!
Always expect to see a face on webcam. Do not accept 'no cam' and pictures as proof you are in contact with the person they claim they are.
Keep the age gap reasonable. Yes, you may know of an 80 year old man with a 20 year old Asian bride, but that combination usually doesn't last long or work out, and somebody usually ends up broke and unhappy. (and it's not the girl who was broke to start with)
Be careful, and good luck.
You can find a 'fantasy' romance online very easily. Sometimes the fantasy is fairly short.

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Zealdate.com Full of fakes, and fraud!

Keep away from zealdate.com! zealdate is full of fake ladies, using stolen pictures of asian models and celebrities. You will have to pay to communicate with the fake ladies. You are not in contact with the lady in the pictures. The pictures are stolen. You will waste time, and money if you use zealdate.com!

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Are you looking for a Filipina wife, online?

The Philippines is both home to some of the hardest working people in the world, as well as a large number of scammers. The Philippines is the third major source of internet scams, along with the former Soviet Union countries, and countries in West Africa.

Here are some suggestions for weeding out the 'problem' ladies, and avoiding scams:

NEVER send money to somebody you only know from the 'net, or phone calls. NEVER!
A common scam via chat or email from the Philippines are 'emergency' type scams.
'I need money for rent'
'I need money for the electricity'
'My mother needs an operation'
'My sister needs medicine'
'A typhoon destroyed my house'
'I have no money for food'

and so on....

The internet is not free, or computers, also, in the Philippines. If the filipina has money to use an internet cafe, or money to support a home PC with internet connection.....she is not starving!
Some filipinas earn a living, or pick up spending money doing this. Don't be a chump!
A lady who hits you up for money, often in the first chat, or within the first few chats, is not serious about landing a western Husband.

Expect and demand to see a face on webcam!
You are going to feel pretty stupid when you find out you expressing love for a gay man, ladyboy, or a dumpy pinay housewife with 5 kids, who are using stolen pictures of a cute, younger lady, aren't you?
It is also possible, and more common, for scammers to feed a recording of a pretty lady over the webcam, you need to learn some tricks to detect this.
The messageboard at Dragonladies.org can help you!

Look for a Filipina with a 'normal' job.
This means she is not online day and night, (the internet is her job, right?) and is less likely to hit you up for money. Likewise, avoid the ones online, too much.
Be aware this is no divorce in the Philippines.
There is only annulment, which is costly. Some filipinas are online, hoping some western man will foot the bill. Sadly, the cost of an annulment is equal to a year or more of average wages in the Philippines, and the proceedings don't always end well. There are some very nice 'separated' ladies, but be careful, and think hard before you help them with annulment costs.
It's not uncommon for a husband in the Philippines to abandon a wife and family, and start another.
It's also not uncommon for the missing husband to reappear when he finds out the wife has a western suitor, and there may be adultery charges, or bribes to face. Be warned!It's not fair for the ladies, but it's not our country, and we can't change it.

Don't fall in love with a porn site 'cam girl'.
This almost always ends up in trouble. They make a living at manipulating men. You may think you are 'rescuing' her from a sordid life, but too often, they don't really want to be rescued. Many are married or have a boyfriend they don't tell you about..as well as children. Some will take you to a cleaners, coo lovingly at you on cam, and in emails, and laugh behind your back, while handing the money you sent them, to the real husband or boyfriend.

So you want to 'help' her financially, or her family?
This is another problem area, and even some 'good' girls can get out of hand.
Don't consider giving any money until you have met in person.
If you are in a serious relationship, that will lead to marriage, then you can consider helping with a modest amount.
Be warned, a western boyfriend or husband is considered to be a family asset. 'Family' will come out of the woodwork wanting handouts, or financial help.
This is somewhat cultural, but abused when a 'kano' is involved.
You need to be aware of the real income, and living expense where the girl lives, and not be taken advantage of.
The girl and family were probably not starving before you met her, It is nice to help the family with a modest amount of money, and expected of you to replace the money she was earning and sending to the family, but be careful.
This is not being 'cheap'. You can't buy love, but too often one of the problems in a western/filipina marriage or relationship, is the outstretched hands of the extended family.

Paid dating sites don't seem to be any safer.
I suggest you use 'free' dating sites, but with caution, and be prepared to walk away from a 'problem' lady.
Datingnmore.com is a safe, free site, run by an anti-scam expert, and has an array of real, asian ladies.
I suggest you try datingnmore.com!

Keep the age gap reasonable!
Yes, you will see old men with young filipinas, and you will be told it is culturally acceptable. Actually, it's culturally 'understood'.
The old man means money, and maybe will be a prized new member of a poor Pinoy family, as long as the money lasts.
Research the procedures for getting a Visa for the lady to your country, and don't get tricked by 'visa' scams, or shortcuts.
In the USA, you will need to meet the lady in person, before you can apply for a visa for her.
Some scams surround taking 'shortcuts' to a visa...avoid these.
'I can come there on a tourist or business visa....and we can marry'.
Illegal, improbable, and you are setting yourself up for a scam, or severe problems with Immigration.

If you are a US Citizen, marriages or prospective marriages between a Man and a much younger filipina, are screened more seriously at the Consulate in Manila.

Let's look at this realistically...how long do you think a 20 year old Filipina is going to stick around in a marriage to a 60-70 year old man? How long will listening to her sing along with 'Justin Bieber' off key be charming?
Many young asian 'brides' come to the USA, and meet with abuse at the hands of the older husband, and or lose interest in the old man as soon as they get a green card.

Green card scams

They're hard to avoid. Some Filipinas willingly seek out 'marriages of convenience' and pay $20-30000 US, just to get legal residency.
Do you want to be an easy way for some enterprising Pinay to get a green card?
It's possible for her to claim abuse, and be home free for a green card on her own, (Without your help) almost as soon as she lands in the US on a K1 or married visa.
There are more provisions and loopholes that help the foreign bride, than the US Citizen husband, and many of them know every one of them.
I'm not condoning abuse of the lady, or abuse of the US Citizen husband. Both need to be careful!

One reason for my work as a 'scambaiter' over the years is to help real and decent people. I'm happy when two people meet via the bizarre mess we call the internet, and move on to live a happy life together.

The internet allows us to meet new and maybe exotic people we'd not normally have a chance to. Use it carefully!

Check out Dragonladies.org for more help with 'Asian' online dating, and scams!

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Are you looking for a Chinese wife,online?

Chinese women are generally attractive, feminine, and age well, and there are many on online dating sites. For the purposes of this blog entry, I am only referring to ladies actually in China, not ladies in other countries, of Chinese race.
Many men have the fantasy of finding an asian 'mail order' bride. One who is younger, pretty, and generally submissive.
I'm afraid this fantasy has lead to the abuse of some asian ladies, as well as scams and fraud of the wife seeker.

Here are some of the real scams, fraud, and problems you face if you are seeking a 'Chinese' bride, online.

'Pay for Play' dating sites: sites that charge you for membership, and every communication with the lady, and restrict communication with the lady, to internal means, on the site. (For which you will be charged for...) Asianbeaties.com, and the various Chinalove sites are some examples of this type of site.
Do you realize many of the ladies are fake? Many men have paid hundreds to thousands of dollars to correspond with a beautiful lady, only to finally realize something isn't right.
You may even pay to chat with cam, or talk on the phone to a pretty lady, and often, that lady is fake, or somebody getting paid to talk to you. (To ring up more payments from you.)
These sites also depend on independent 'agencies', which may be a small office in a Chinese city, offering 'marriage broker' services to local ladies. Many of these agencies use fraud as a tool to make money as a marriage 'broker'. They'll post fake profiles of 'fake' ladies, and collect fees for the messages men send to her.
A common tactic for the agency that has some 'real' ladies, hoping to marry a western man, is a 'bait and switch' tactic.

They will post profiles of pretty girls on these dating sites, let the man believe he is in contact with that pretty lady, and urge him to come to China to meet her.
When he arrives to meet her, he is told 'she change her mind' and he is conveniently offered (usually) an older and less attractive lady, who is often tagging along with the 'agent' when she meets the man at the airport. (who is expecting to be met by the smiling cutie he has been writing love letters to for months, and has paid thousands of dollars to correspond with, and 'meet'.)

While there are probably some nice ladies using these agencies, who are serious about a real marriage with a nice man, there are also reports of men being introduced to virtual prostitutes, thieves, and gold-diggers, upon arrival.
So, you've paid a lot of money to correspond, and eventually meet this lady...does the money flow end?

OK, let's assume you have been lucky enough to meet the actual lady from the dating site you were emailing? It's fairly common for the prospective groom to be lead about town, on expensive shopping trips, with the lady accumulating a mountain of 'gifts'.
You'll have little personal discourse with her, but you will become very familiar with the more expensive shops in town.
You may be able to share a bed with her at night, but don't count on it.
Some of these ladies are actually married! In Russia and the Ukraine they are known as 'pro daters'.

You will also be presented with 'agency' or 'translator' fees, in addition to some demand for money or a large gift for the parents.

You may be coaxed to buy a house or apartment for the parents, or one for your future use, with your 'bride'. Guess what? The house will not be in your name, and you will have no ownership rights, or means of recourse, if/when the marriage or engagement falls through.

Another form of 'Fake' chinese lady, online, are the fake profiles set up by West African scammers, who live in China! Yes! The 'Nigerian' scammer most of us are familiar with, is present in China!

West Africans go to China for business and education opportunities, and some go intentionally to Scam. Many end up overstaying the easily obtained visas, and struggling to survive. Some end up doing internet scams.

Right now, we have a serious problem with West African scammers pulling romance scams, from within China, primarily the Guangdong province.

These scammers set up many profiles for 'Asian' ladies on dating sites, with a profile age of 28-35, usually residing in South China, (Primarily Shenzhen, or Guangzhou) working a low level or menial job, and have no children.
The fake single lady is usually Chinese, or Filipina, and is attractive. The pictures they use are stolen.
They will not show a face on cam, but sometimes will talk to the victim on the phone.
The lady is not the lady in the pictures, but a local girl paid to talk on the phone, or a girlfriend of the scammer.
They'll generally ask for 'visa and travel' money, and claim they are en route to meet the victim, and need money to make, or continue the trip.

Of course...nobody shows up. The girl is fake. The thousands of dollars the man has sent..is gone.

Read this forum at Dragonladies.org for more information on 'Chinese' visa and travel scams

What if you manage to find a 'real' chinese lady, online, and maybe not from one of the 'problem' dating sites?

There still is a danger of a 'Green Card' scam...

Many Chinese still want to come to the USA, or other Western countries. They will pay $20-30,000 to be smuggled, or for 'fake' marriages to obtain residency or citizenship in a more affluent country. That is a lot of money for most people in China! Why not let some gullible man bring them there?

Please don't misunderstand me, I am not trying to paint all Chinese ladies as devious, plotting, and greedy. The situations I list are factual.
I list these problems with hope you avoid these scammers, and find a real, decent, Chinese woman, if that is what you are seeking.

How do I avoid these scams?

Never send money to somebody you know online, or via phone calls. This includes buying plane tickets, or paying for emergencies. NEVER.

Demand to see a face on webcam, and often. If they won't comply, something is wrong, no matter what excuse they give you. Dump them.

Avoid 'paid' dating sites, or any dating site you are restricted to communicating with the lady, using internal site methods. 'Pay for message' is a dead end, and fraught with fraud. The fees you pay provide a good income to the site, as well as crooked people, and fraudulent agencies.

Research the city and area she lives in, and are you really willing and able to go meet her?

Flush whatever misconceptions or fantasies you have about 'mail order brides' out of your mind.

No lady you meet online, and send money to, is likely to show up on your doorstep.
Familiarize yourself with the real visa procedures for your country. Scammers often use preposterous to impossible methods they claim will get them to your country...unrealistic methods, time frames, and sometimes even they will provide a link to a totally fake 'visa and travel' website....they set up!

Learn how to search images via Google. Many scammers use stolen pictures, often of Asian celebrities. They also re-use pictures, and there may be a scam report with this picture, online, already.
Google the email address!!!! Very important! Yes, the scammers often create new email addresses, but it's also common for them to use the same email address for months. There may be a report online about that email address being used in a scam.

Keep the age gap reasonable. For china, 10-15 years is the max.

Communicating with a lady who does not speak any english sets you up for problems. If she is not able to communicate now, and not willing to learn, you face some real problems. Many ladies in China know some english, are willing and capable of learning.
Do not send money for 'english lessons'. Meet the lady first. There are often free or inexpensive 'English' lessons available in China. English is important in China, for business, and is the gateway to higher pay and good jobs.

I suggest you visit and read the information at DragonLadies.org

Please be aware that real, middle-aged Chinese ladies you meet online are also plagued with scammers, a lot of game players, and perverts.
When you meet a real one online, be patient, honest, and polite.
You may need to ask politely several times, and build some trust, before she shows a face on cam, but please, don't let this trust period extend beyond a few chats or emails.
I wish you luck, and happiness.

Find anybody's photos, videos and blogs instantly. You may be surprised!

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Lilydating.com More fraud than initially imagined

Dragonladies.org has been checking out lilydating.com, and finding overwhelming evidence of FRAUD.
Lilydating thread at Dragonladies.org
You really need to be careful on dating sites, while there are few actual fraudulent dating sites, like lilydating, every dating site has some scammers on them. Protect yourself.
Learn how to spot the scammers, never send money to somebody you only know from the internet!
Guys, I have been to China several times, and was married to a Chinese lady. Young Chinese 'hotties' do not look for old men online, as they do in some other Asian countries.
Most of the pictures at lilydating are stolen, and of models, actresses, or other celebrities.

It's unlikely you will talk to a real lady on lilydating who is interested in any other than cheating you.

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