Chinese women are generally attractive, feminine, and age well, and there are many on online dating sites. For the purposes of this blog entry, I am only referring to ladies actually in China, not ladies in other countries, of Chinese race.
Many men have the fantasy of finding an asian 'mail order' bride. One who is younger, pretty, and generally submissive.
I'm afraid this fantasy has lead to the abuse of some asian ladies, as well as scams and fraud of the wife seeker.
Here are some of the real scams, fraud, and problems you face if you are seeking a 'Chinese' bride, online.
'Pay for Play' dating sites: sites that charge you for membership, and every communication with the lady, and restrict communication with the lady, to internal means, on the site. (For which you will be charged for...) Asianbeaties.com, and the various Chinalove sites are some examples of this type of site.
Do you realize many of the ladies are fake? Many men have paid hundreds to thousands of dollars to correspond with a beautiful lady, only to finally realize something isn't right.
You may even pay to chat with cam, or talk on the phone to a pretty lady, and often, that lady is fake, or somebody getting paid to talk to you. (To ring up more payments from you.)
These sites also depend on independent 'agencies', which may be a small office in a Chinese city, offering 'marriage broker' services to local ladies. Many of these agencies use fraud as a tool to make money as a marriage 'broker'. They'll post fake profiles of 'fake' ladies, and collect fees for the messages men send to her.
A common tactic for the agency that has some 'real' ladies, hoping to marry a western man, is a 'bait and switch' tactic.
They will post profiles of pretty girls on these dating sites, let the man believe he is in contact with that pretty lady, and urge him to come to China to meet her.
When he arrives to meet her, he is told 'she change her mind' and he is conveniently offered (usually) an older and less attractive lady, who is often tagging along with the 'agent' when she meets the man at the airport. (who is expecting to be met by the smiling cutie he has been writing love letters to for months, and has paid thousands of dollars to correspond with, and 'meet'.)
While there are probably some nice ladies using these agencies, who are serious about a real marriage with a nice man, there are also reports of men being introduced to virtual prostitutes, thieves, and gold-diggers, upon arrival.
So, you've paid a lot of money to correspond, and eventually meet this lady...does the money flow end?
OK, let's assume you have been lucky enough to meet the actual lady from the dating site you were emailing? It's fairly common for the prospective groom to be lead about town, on expensive shopping trips, with the lady accumulating a mountain of 'gifts'.
You'll have little personal discourse with her, but you will become very familiar with the more expensive shops in town.
You may be able to share a bed with her at night, but don't count on it.
Some of these ladies are actually married! In Russia and the Ukraine they are known as 'pro daters'.
You will also be presented with 'agency' or 'translator' fees, in addition to some demand for money or a large gift for the parents.
You may be coaxed to buy a house or apartment for the parents, or one for your future use, with your 'bride'. Guess what? The house will not be in your name, and you will have no ownership rights, or means of recourse, if/when the marriage or engagement falls through.
Another form of 'Fake' chinese lady, online, are the fake profiles set up by West African scammers, who live in China! Yes! The 'Nigerian' scammer most of us are familiar with, is present in China!
West Africans go to China for business and education opportunities, and some go intentionally to Scam. Many end up overstaying the easily obtained visas, and struggling to survive. Some end up doing internet scams.
Right now, we have a serious problem with West African scammers pulling romance scams, from within China, primarily the Guangdong province.
These scammers set up many profiles for 'Asian' ladies on dating sites, with a profile age of 28-35, usually residing in South China, (Primarily Shenzhen, or Guangzhou) working a low level or menial job, and have no children.
The fake single lady is usually Chinese, or Filipina, and is attractive. The pictures they use are stolen.
They will not show a face on cam, but sometimes will talk to the victim on the phone.
The lady is not the lady in the pictures, but a local girl paid to talk on the phone, or a girlfriend of the scammer.
They'll generally ask for 'visa and travel' money, and claim they are en route to meet the victim, and need money to make, or continue the trip.
Of course...nobody shows up. The girl is fake. The thousands of dollars the man has sent..is gone.
Read this forum at Dragonladies.org for more information on 'Chinese' visa and travel scams
What if you manage to find a 'real' chinese lady, online, and maybe not from one of the 'problem' dating sites?
There still is a danger of a 'Green Card' scam...
Many Chinese still want to come to the USA, or other Western countries. They will pay $20-30,000 to be smuggled, or for 'fake' marriages to obtain residency or citizenship in a more affluent country. That is a lot of money for most people in China! Why not let some gullible man bring them there? Please don't misunderstand me, I am not trying to paint all Chinese ladies as devious, plotting, and greedy. The situations I list are factual.
I list these problems with hope you avoid these scammers, and find a real, decent, Chinese woman, if that is what you are seeking.
How do I avoid these scams?
Never send money to somebody you know online, or via phone calls. This includes buying plane tickets, or paying for emergencies. NEVER.
Demand to see a face on webcam, and often. If they won't comply, something is wrong, no matter what excuse they give you. Dump them.
Avoid 'paid' dating sites, or any dating site you are restricted to communicating with the lady, using internal site methods. 'Pay for message' is a dead end, and fraught with fraud. The fees you pay provide a good income to the site, as well as crooked people, and fraudulent agencies.
Research the city and area she lives in, and are you really willing and able to go meet her?
Flush whatever misconceptions or fantasies you have about 'mail order brides' out of your mind.
No lady you meet online, and send money to, is likely to show up on your doorstep.
Familiarize yourself with the real visa procedures for your country. Scammers often use preposterous to impossible methods they claim will get them to your country...unrealistic methods, time frames, and sometimes even they will provide a link to a totally fake 'visa and travel' website....they set up!
Learn how to search images via Google. Many scammers use stolen pictures, often of Asian celebrities. They also re-use pictures, and there may be a scam report with this picture, online, already.
Google the email address!!!! Very important! Yes, the scammers often create new email addresses, but it's also common for them to use the same email address for months. There may be a report online about that email address being used in a scam.
Keep the age gap reasonable. For china, 10-15 years is the max.
Communicating with a lady who does not speak any english sets you up for problems. If she is not able to communicate now, and not willing to learn, you face some real problems. Many ladies in China know some english, are willing and capable of learning.
Do not send money for 'english lessons'. Meet the lady first. There are often free or inexpensive 'English' lessons available in China. English is important in China, for business, and is the gateway to higher pay and good jobs.
I suggest you visit and read the information at DragonLadies.org
Please be aware that real, middle-aged Chinese ladies you meet online are also plagued with scammers, a lot of game players, and perverts.
When you meet a real one online, be patient, honest, and polite.
You may need to ask politely several times, and build some trust, before she shows a face on cam, but please, don't let this trust period extend beyond a few chats or emails.
I wish you luck, and happiness.
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