My background as a scambaiter, webmaster of an anti-scam site, and contact with scam victims has allowed me to formulate some very basic guidelines for safe online dating.
Safeguard your personal details!
There is no reason to let a stranger you met on the internet know your full name, address, phone number and other details that may fully identify you
If you are online hoping to meet somebody different, and special, you need to be sparing with your personal details, and only lower your guard a bit after you can independently verify who this person is.
Real people who may care about you will understand.
Use a 'throwaway' email address for contact with unknown or new friends.
Some people turn out to be jerks, and if you are online, you are prone to run into them, as well as scammers.
If you use a 'throwaway' email address, (Easily obtained Gmail, yahoo, hotmail account you don't use with known friends, family or personal business) you can easily close or ignore that account, if or when you run into a problem person.
If you were careful, and did not give them other means of contacting you, you are safe, and they are gone.
You can also consider using SKYPE or a prepaid calling card to avoid exposing your cell or home phone number to a stranger.
You don't know who you are really in contact with on the internet!
You may run into a jerk, pervert, scammer, or that 'single' person you are interested in, is actually married.
PICTURES alone do not establish who you are really in contact with!
Scammers frequently use stolen pictures of people ranging from supermodels, to ordinary joes, and claim to be 'that' person.
Demand to see a face on webcam, and often, (More than briefly, and a few times) before you let your guard down, a bit.
Remember, it's also very easy to feed a recording of a person, over a webcam, making it appear that the person is 'live', on webcam.
You'll have to be careful to spot this. Scammers are using recordings over cams more frequently. Pay attention to the clothing the person wears, the room setting, and the lighting. Is it appropriate for the time of day for where they claim to be? Are they wearing the same clothes for every cam session? Do they only sit and smile at you, and maybe wave, occasionally?
Spotting a 'fake' webcam can be easy sometimes, difficult, others.
Your webcam may be recorded by the person viewing it!I do it all the time to document scammers!
Scammers do it all the time to collect footage of people to use in scams.
Do you really want your image, fed over a webcam, to scam people?
There are also increasing BLACKMAIL scams, where a person is coaxed into appearing nude, or performing sexual acts by a scammer, who has professed love and a desire for a real relationship with the victim.
The nudity and/or acts are recorded, the recording later played back for the victim and demands for payments of large sums of money are made, or they video will be sent or played for friends, family and co-workers.
This is happening frequently on FACEBOOK, where the scammer becomes a 'friend', and then has access to the other friends on your list.
KEEP YOUR CLOTHES ON WHEN THE CAM IS ON!
Google or do other searches, on the email address any new friend you have met online gives you, as well as any phone number they give you.
Search anybody by name, e-mail address, phone number, online username or even friends in your address book and instantly return lots of info.
I use Spokeo, and recommend it!
West African scammers pretend to be anyone, both sexes, any race...but they have some persistent tidbits they use in 'stories', and some quirks in the english they use.
If all the 'white' people I've run into online, were actually in Africa, or had to go to Africa for a job or an emergency, there would be no room left for real 'Africans'!
People who travel the world for work or business do not need strangers to rescue them by sending them money by Western Union!
There are webcams everywhere. Most laptops produced in the last few years have them built into them. Internet Cafes are everywhere, even in third world countries.
'Sorry, I don't have a cam' or 'I am in rural area, no cams' is bullcrap!
If they have the means to be online, there is a cam, somewhere.
Never send money to somebody you only know from the internet, or phone calls!
There is no way around this. Nobody you are in contact with from the internet is actually going to die for lack of medical treatment, or is being held hostage by an angry Hotel keeper, due to a stolen wallet and unpaid bills.
One of my favorite stories is one the West African scammers use with stolen pictures of pretty girls, who they claim have gone to Africa for 'model shoots' or some other temporary employment.
The 'girl' will claim her passport and money have been stolen, and the person who brought them to Africa has abandoned them.
"I have no money and am afraid! Please help me! The hotel won't let me leave until I can pay my bill!"
When you ask to see them on cam.....
"I'm sorry, I can only use the computer in the lobby, and there is no cam. PLEASE HELP ME!"
Later you will get an email that says something like....
"PLEASE HELP ME!! THERE ARE MEN WAITING IN THE HALL OUTSIDE MY ROOM AND I THINK THEY ARE GOING TO RAPE ME!"
What happened to the only computer she can use, is in the Lobby? Did 'she' climb out of a window to sneak to the lobby, to use the computer to send this email?
If so, why the hell doesn't 'she' just sneak away from the hotel?
Because it's a scam, she is fake, you are a fool, if you fall for it and send money.
Don't cash or deposit checks or money orders for somebody you only know from the internet!
Sometimes, your 'international businessman/traveler' will claim he did some work in your country, and has some uncashed checks to take care of.
The checks or money orders are fake, or may be funds scammed from other victims.
Usually you are asked to forward the proceeds from these checks to the scammer, by Western Union.
If the checks are fake, you will be on the hook for the funds payed out, and may be prosecuted.
If the checks are real, you are essentially participating in 'money laundering', and may be prosecuted.
The same fake checks and money orders may appear in a 'work from home' scam. You may answer a classified ad, or email that offers a job, 'processing payments'.
The scammer is far away, and safe from prosecution. Guess who is easy for find and prosecute? You!
Are you suspicious about who you are in contact with? Do you have questions about internet romance scams?
Romancescam.com can help you with internet romance scams, from the former Soviet Union, and West Africa.
This will include most white or black, men or ladies you suspect may be fake, or trying to scam you.
Dragonladies.org can help with female internet romance scammers, from Asia.
